Nighttime Anxiety in Children: Why It Happens and What to Do
Many parents know the nightly routine all too well: your child is fine during the day, but as bedtime approaches, their fears seem to surface. Maybe they say they’re scared to be alone, worry about bad dreams, or resist going to bed altogether.
This pattern is more common than you might think and it may be a sign of nighttime anxiety.
Understanding where this anxiety comes from and how to support your child can make a big difference in how they (and you) sleep at night. In this post, we’ll explore the causes of nighttime anxiety in children, common signs to look for, and effective strategies to help them feel safe and secure.
What Is Nighttime Anxiety?
Nighttime anxiety refers to excessive worry or fear that emerges around bedtime. For some children, it’s about the dark or monsters. For others, it’s fears about something happening to them or a loved one during the night. In more serious cases, it can cause prolonged bedtime resistance, sleep disruption, or physical symptoms like stomachaches or headaches.
While occasional nighttime fears are developmentally normal, persistent or intense anxiety may require more support.
Common Causes of Nighttime Anxiety in Children
1. Developmental Fears
It’s normal for young children to go through phases of fearing the dark, monsters, or being alone. These often peak between ages 3 and 7 but can continue longer depending on the child.
2. General Anxiety or Stress
Children who are generally anxious during the day may have a harder time settling down at night. The quiet of bedtime allows worries to surface, especially if they’ve been distracted all day.
3. Separation Anxiety
Some children feel anxious when separated from their caregivers even just in another room. This can intensify at night, when they’re expected to fall asleep alone.
4. Traumatic or Stressful Events
A recent move, illness, divorce, loss, or even exposure to scary news or stories can trigger nighttime anxiety, especially if the child hasn’t fully processed their feelings.
5. Sleep Associations
If a child is used to falling asleep only when a parent is present, they may struggle when expected to fall asleep on their own. This can reinforce dependence and nighttime anxiety.
Signs Your Child May Be Experiencing Nighttime Anxiety
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Frequent resistance to going to bed
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Clinging to parents at bedtime
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Trouble falling asleep or staying asleep
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Complaints of physical symptoms (e.g., tummy aches) at night
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Expressing specific fears or worries after lights out
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Repeated requests for water, one more story, or staying longer
If these behaviors persist for several weeks and are affecting your child’s (or your) sleep and well-being, it may be more than just a phase.
How to Help a Child With Nighttime Anxiety
1. Validate Their Feelings
Avoid dismissing fears as silly or irrational. Instead, say things like, “I know it feels scary right now, but you are safe, and I’m here for you.” This builds trust and emotional security.
2. Create a Calming Bedtime Routine
A consistent routine helps the body and mind wind down. Aim for 20–30 minutes of quiet, screen-free activities like reading, listening to calming music, or taking a warm bath.
3. Use Comfort Items
A favorite stuffed animal, blanket, or nightlight can help children feel more secure. Some families also use “worry dolls” or journals to help kids externalize their fears before bed.
4. Teach Simple Coping Skills
Breathing exercises, guided imagery (like imagining a peaceful place), or short mindfulness exercises can be powerful tools for anxious kids. Practice these outside of bedtime so they feel familiar.
5. Limit Stimulating Content
Be mindful of what your child sees or hears during the day even seemingly mild stories or shows can trigger nighttime fears. Avoid scary movies, intense news stories, or overstimulating activities close to bedtime.
6. Gradually Build Independence
If your child is used to falling asleep with you in the room, try gradually reducing your presence over time sitting farther from the bed each night or checking in at regular intervals instead of staying.
7. Address Daytime Anxiety
Sometimes what happens during the day shows up at night. Helping your child manage anxiety in general through therapy, routines, or parent support can also reduce nighttime fears.
When to Seek Professional Help
If nighttime anxiety persists for more than a few weeks, disrupts your child’s functioning, or seems tied to trauma, consider speaking with a child psychologist or therapist. Treatment approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) can be very effective.
Therapy can help your child learn to manage fears, and help you as a parent respond in ways that support long-term coping not just short-term relief.
Final Thoughts
Nighttime anxiety is stressful for both children and parents but it’s also highly treatable. With the right support, consistency, and patience, most children can learn to feel safe, calm, and confident at bedtime again.
If you’re concerned about your child’s anxiety at night, don’t hesitate to reach out. Support is available, and early intervention can make a big difference.
